Journal : the kids in the basements

I am not just one. I am many. Many kids, locked out in many basements. I know them, I see them. They somehow know of each other, they remember they were together at some point. Now they only intuit their existence. And they all hold one of the colours. I am these kids, I am locked in many basements at once. I am all of them, and.. much more somehow. I don’t remember how we got there, what happened ? I can see we are connected, but it’s dark and dumpy all around us individually, and we are scattered in so many locations. We all are scared and missing something. Some of us are really numbed out, almost in a trance or coma. Some of us are somehow awake but utterly shattered. What happened? What is this place? What is happening… ?
I know I must be here, I know doing this basement experience is putting up some base for something. I remember the goal… not with memories or concepts, but more like.. I see the goal right now striking and speaking through each cell of my body .. at all levels. This goal is the love of my life. This is everything to me. This is why I am in these basements, and this is a literal situation.

I see the monster knowing my love, knowing my goal. I see the monster being my teacher somehow. I see the monster being my love somehow. How is this possible ? I feel this is everything that is… This dungeon, the monster, and I.