On being different

Part 1: Fear of being different

Much time this present human realm used the tool of coherence and adhesion of similitudes to create its organising principles. That which was similar adhered together forming groups and societies, worlds and universes. Even when we fall in love we can observe that we mostly fall in love with that which is similar to us. And the feeling of falling in love increases as the similarity increases.

That which was alike felt pulled to come together, and that which was different felt pushed to keep apart.

In this kind of world.. being different could genuinely feel scary. And as one would feel more and more different fear could be more and more present.

At first there was zero war between that which was different and that which was similar. All of us would live together and we would all explore ourselves in relations of differences and relations of similitudes with the other beings around us. I remember how much the relations of difference would increase my intelligence – because while interacting with a different note than mine, my awareness would have to create a new space where these two notes could exist together. A stretch would happen. Thus: my awareness would expand itself. At the same time the relations of similitudes would bring me much more depth of exploration. My awareness would grow more and more complex compositions between me and a note that was similar to me.

I could say that that which was different expanded me in width, and that which was similar grew me in depth. Me – as my awareness, in this case.

What I can observe in this game here, as of its current state, is that .. it leans much more weight to the principle of similitudes and less weight on the principle of differences. And even more: that which is different feels almost casted out, and that which is similar seems to be obsessively looked for.

Part 2: What happened?

From what I see, all of it started after we decided to experience ourselves disconnected from the life within. The life within was our inner sun, our guiding light, the compass that would guide our choices, our movements, our relations and interactions. Basically: me in full awareness of myself.

After the veil has fallen we all seemingly “forgot” who and what we are. We lost part (some decided to lose more, some decided to lose less) of our awareness of self. Thus: we started to feel alone and secluded, not from others.. but from ourselves. The now existing veil created an illusionary wall that made us feel secluded or separated from the life within us. This created the huge lack we all carried deep within.

Feeling disconnected from the life within, we soon started to look for life outside of us.

And we soon started looking for similitudes more than differences. We started looking for similar beings who would remember us of ourselves. Beings through whom.. we could touch ourselves again, interact with ourselves again, feel the connection with ourselves again.

Thus: human love as we know it sprouted. Feeling passion for and falling in love with that which reminded us of ourselves or helped us feel that brief connection with ourselves once again. And hate also sprouted: pushing away beings who were not sharing the same life we knew and missed.

And as the lack grew more and more we soon started to feel the need to bring life from outside of us to the inside of us, in our endeavour to maintain that love and connection we knew. Thus: consumption emerged.

This is where vampirism, manipulations, violence and all other techniques grew and were developed – to try to bring life back within us. And not all kinds of life, but life that was similar to our own, that now we felt disconnected from.

And because now we were feeling disconnected and in such need to bring life that was similar to us close to us, life that was different from us soon started to feel not only un-important, but later: even a threat. So at this point, much of the expansion of life stopped and we started living inside a sort of closed loop, where we would forever search that which was similar in order to consume it. And thus: we would recycle over and over the same content, consuming one another over and over in the hope of re-establishing the connection with ourselves. Hence: closed planets like this one. Where things are recycled over and over, birthed, consumed, decomposed and re-birthed from the same existing material.. over and over.

And inside this closed system we soon started to dismiss anything that wasn’t close to the life we knew ourselves to be. So a huge gap arouse – and much suffering sprouted, because now beings were rejecting or denying access to life to some other beings who were not similar to them. And viceversa: beings started to forcefully want to bring beings that were similar to them, next to them.

In this way beings lost their natural way of interacting balanced with that which was different and that which was similar. Now they were all looking frenetically for that which was similar, in an almost fear of death kind of desperation. They felt the life in them would get extinguished if they do not bring it in from outside. And we all kind of know the history of what happened from this point on. The wars, the hunger, the dominance, the groups, societies rise and fall – religions, politics, and so on. All in the endeavour to maintain the life within alive.

Part 3: And we also tried identifying ourselves back into wholeness 🙂

As we were experiencing ourselves disconnected from the life within, new type of experiences had room to emerge. Identification was one of them. Identification gave us the brief sensation of gaining back our wholeness by merging ourselves with the things we perceive. Similar to eating, but on a mental level.

While I am identified with something, I believe myself to be part of or the whole of that thing. I once again feel I am part of something bigger than me.

And although identification seemed like a nice solution to try in healing our pain – with time it became almost the most self destructive monster. After we started using identification as a palliative for the pain within and as we were already reluctant to interact with things that were different than us, seeing no value in them anymore, each time I would interact with something different than me and thus feel no value for, because of the identification now I would feel I have no value. Self miss-trust, self judgement and self hate, among many others, had room to sprout out of this choice. An un-precedented mass destruction of self followed.

Soon: wars started. People wanting to change or destroy other people who were different than them, in order to make sure they themselves retain their self value. Like hating someone else in order not to hate myself. Destroying someone else in order not to destroy myself. And all was due to us using the identification tool to try to seal up our disconnection wound.

What a craziness 🙂

See.. people tend to think that gods are these clever beings who know everything and always make the optimal and smart choices for themselves and others, where in fact, what I see is that gods.. more than anything are like these curious children who make experiments and love to test with life in any of its forms. Sometimes.. to their own destruction 🙂

Part 4: So .. what now?

Hopefully all this disconnection gimmick was tested inside our virtual reality universe. Yep. I already mentioned this in my previous writings. Outside of this virtual reality I see that we all continue to be perfectly fine and connected with the life within us. It is that connection that is our true reality, that actually sustains us in experiencing ourselves as disconnected here in this dream. Still.. even if the disconnection is played out inside of this dream – which we are currently inhabitants of – our minds are experiencing this as being 100% real.

So how to save ourselves in the dream?

There are several tools for reconnecting back with the life within. Among them, the ones I found useful through practice are: staying with myself in neutral observation with zero thoughts or emotions, facing the fears, braking repeating patterns, accepting looking at myself with deep self honesty, feeling the pain, and learning to listen. These tools – as simple or crazy as they might sound for some – they do their job in showing me back myself. Oh, and trust.. I see a definite need for self trust.

Part 5 – Us again

As I re-connect more and more with the life within, I can start interacting more and more with things, people and situations that are different than me. As I know more and more what I am my need to identify with others gets lowered and thus: getting upset on them, getting angry because they are different than me or try to make them like me gets lowered. Also.. recklessly loosing my head over someone who seems to be similar to me also gets lowered. True discernment from a soul level has room to finally exist.

Part 5 – Final thoughts

We are scared of being different because until now .. different meant: pushed away, keep apart, casted out. Even when I interact with minds that are highly conscious of themselves I still observe this fear of being different from one another. I still observe how scared we are to display ourselves in the trueness of ourselves, without fear of being abandoned or rejected. I still see how much we continue to hide.

Much time hiding provided shelter. It provided protection. Emulating our behaviour to match the group we would be part of, would usually buy us a semi manageable pass to this human experience.

Now the walls have started to fall. Hiding could soon feel impossible.

I see a need of reverting back to who we are and start pulsing out the life within with full authenticity and ownership. And maybe.. re-embracing the fact that different might be far from meaning: danger. Different might indeed show me my false identity, pushing me to finally crack myself out to my true nature.
And different might mean expansion. Different might mean: development. It might mean: novel possibilities of human exploration. And in the end: the truest form love might actually have.

[Article written mainly from a <Level 3 – The real creation> perspective. See the levels explained here ]